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Making new friends... in cafe/bars and orphanages
After the girls from New Zealand leave (Nikki and Jo), I feel down as I always do when I am alone again, at least for the first few hours. That evening, as I walk back to the hotel to freshen up for the evening, I notice a girl (or woman, if you will) talking to one of the hotel staff (known as Mr Crazy!) on the steps. They are having what seems to be a fun conversation, the girl has a nice laugh and I smile, thinking nothing more of it.
After showering, I head out, as I usually do at around dinner time. Tonight I'm going back to Treats...maybe sit by myself and read a book, sip a beer, eat some food. Or all three.
Just as I finish eating, the girl from the hotel appears and sits round the side with a book...it's a common thing for most solo travellers to do...write your journal or read a book. Sometimes we just people watch.
After about 10 minutes, I pluck up the courage to walk over to the girl...having prepared what I am going to say. Even when I am just asking someone to join me, I still feel nervous. Anyway...
"Hi...I was wondering, if you weren't expecting anyone....would you like to join me?"
The girl looks up, a little disorientated.
"Pardon?", she says.
So I repeat myself... She looks a little fazed but says,
"Yeah, sure."
As she comes over to my table, she comments that she also likes the author I am reading...standard forensic crime thriller writer Patricia Cornwell...more of a popcorn book! But I like them.
We introduce ourselves...Janneke...Adi.
Janneke is from Holland and before starting her travels almost a year ago, she was a criminal psychologist. I am now quite concerned about being analysed but she says that "she is on vacation"! Phew...not that I am a criminal.
We have a really good evening talking about out travels, where we have been, where we are going. She says she is heading to Hue the following day...I am going in two days. We talk about our taste in music and movies and are surprised that we have similar tastes...almost freaking each other out by our choice of best movies.
I suggest that it wouldn't surprise me if we shared the same birthday...at which point we look at each other as if to say it isn't possible. Slowly we say the dates...I'm the 8th, she's the 29th...then we say the month, and we both look a litlle shocked to find out it is April for both is us. We knew we were the same age already so the year is the same too...turns out I am exactly 3 weeks older than her.
The evening of chat and drinks is a lot of fun, and as we are in the same hotel, we walk back and bid each other good night with the possibility that we might catch up in Hue if she hasn't moved on.
The following day, I wake early to check if it is possible to head out to the Marble Mountains but it is pouring down with rain. So I lie in, finish my book and head out for brunch. I then walk to, and visit, the orphanage...which is both a rewarding and a depressing experience, although seeing the smiles on some of the kids who interacted with me was heartening.
I arrive at the orphanage and peer into the entrance, but no one is around. So I slowly and sheepishly walk in... as I stand in the reception, a gentlemen comes out and sees me, and starts to nod, though he speaks little English. He takes me through to a courtyard where I see four or five young children playing. He shouts to one of them, who runs over, grabs my hand, while speaking to me in Vietnamese (or at least I assume it is) and leads me to a room in the far corner of the courtyard and points inside.
Inside, it's dimly lit but still there's enough daylight to see... there are 8 beds (2 rows of 4 beds) with on average 2 children on each bed. In one corner of the room is a simple black and white TV which some older kids are watching whilst sat on a wooden bench. I walk in and say hello to an American mother and daughter who are vacationing and have decided to spare some time to come to the orphanage. I give them an agreeing nod, that's my reason too.
Before I continue to describe my experience, I'm going to tell you that I made the consciou decision to not take photos... something about this place and the kids there made me not want to take photos... I think I can explain it by wanting to be a part of this story and not record / photograph this story. So I left the camera in the bag and approached the first bed.
The young child, a boy, possibly just under a year and a half, seems to be mentally handicapped and I can't tell whether he can see me despite looking as if he has healthy eyes. He just doesn't seem to react to visual stimuli.
Then I hold his hand. Before my eyes, his face changes. Before he looked like he was preoccupied with is own thoughts... it's maybe where he lives, in his own thoughts. But upon contact with my hand, The most amazing thing happened. He smiles... a really simple yet happy smile. If hearts could melt, mine just did. I smile too... I hold his hand and rub his tummy, almost tickling him and he curls up, giggling (with no sound) and just looks really happy. And I feel...happy... too.
If you would like to see a photo of him, click on the link - It's from the orphanage's website.
http://www.kianh.org.uk/gallery/beH
Moving on, I go to the next bed, but here I feel sad. Despite trying to repeat the experience of the previous bed, the little girl here gives no reaction to hand holding. On the next bed, a girl is sitting up, a little disorientated. I walk over to her and she grabbs my hand and won't let go... that is a little nerve wracking as you don't know how to react. Eventually, her grip lessens and I bid her goodbye and then walk over to the TV.
I speak to a pair of teenage brothers... one who actually works out in the town but comes back to the orphanage each night to sleep and be with is brother. It's a pity to think that both brothers have been in the orphanage for quite a few years. They are educated but the standards here are so low that you do feel sorry though with the donations from visitors they do get fed and have shelter. And for that, we can be thankful.
I donate a little money so that they can buy milk for the newborn (whom I get to hold). Within minutes, the carer has popped out, bought milk, come back and prepared it and is now feeding the baby I was just holding. The immediacy of it reminds me that they have little funds and are living day by day if not week by week. I am a litle saddened, and due to he nature of my trip... I am a backpacker... I know that I am unable to change that.
I leave the orphanage and make my way back towards the hotel... stopping in to Jenny's cafe on the way. I mention to her that I stopped into the orphanage and she tells me that one of the charity organisers (who's Scottish) is here and introduces me to Nick.
I congratulate Nick on the efforts that he and his partners have put in and he tells me about the orphanage and the projects and costs involved. I have to admit that he is inspiring, giving up his life to a degree to come out to Vietnam and help run the financial aspect of the orphanage. I mention that as a backpacker, I don't have the financial means to assist at this point in time but I do pledge that when I am settled into a job in the future, I will set up a standing order for a little amount of money each month. As I write this in March 2007, I haven't yet forgotten... in fact, I never will. Do remind me though...
I head back to the hotel... I spend the next morning packing and then after breakfast I stop into an internet cafe to check my email... I am leaving for Hue this afternoon and the bus journey will get me there in three or four hours. I note that I have received an email from Janneke, the friend I made two nights ago. She tells me that it had rained all day in Hue and so she had decided to stay another day or two in Hue. If I was coming, she wouldn't mind catching up again. She also recommends the hotel that is she is staying in. As searching for hotels was one of the reasons I logged on to the internet, I decide, "cool, one less decision to make". Plus, Friday night was fun so I reply to Janneke and say, sure, let's make it a repeat.
I catch my bus to Hue. The journey is fairly uneventful and when I arrive in Hue, the bus drops me off and I am set upon by touts who want me to stay in their hotel... my decision is already made for me and I head there...
After the girls from New Zealand leave (Nikki and Jo), I feel down as I always do when I am alone again, at least for the first few hours. That evening, as I walk back to the hotel to freshen up for the evening, I notice a girl (or woman, if you will) talking to one of the hotel staff (known as Mr Crazy!) on the steps. They are having what seems to be a fun conversation, the girl has a nice laugh and I smile, thinking nothing more of it.
After showering, I head out, as I usually do at around dinner time. Tonight I'm going back to Treats...maybe sit by myself and read a book, sip a beer, eat some food. Or all three.
Just as I finish eating, the girl from the hotel appears and sits round the side with a book...it's a common thing for most solo travellers to do...write your journal or read a book. Sometimes we just people watch.
After about 10 minutes, I pluck up the courage to walk over to the girl...having prepared what I am going to say. Even when I am just asking someone to join me, I still feel nervous. Anyway...
"Hi...I was wondering, if you weren't expecting anyone....would you like to join me?"
The girl looks up, a little disorientated.
"Pardon?", she says.
So I repeat myself... She looks a little fazed but says,
"Yeah, sure."
As she comes over to my table, she comments that she also likes the author I am reading...standard forensic crime thriller writer Patricia Cornwell...more of a popcorn book! But I like them.
We introduce ourselves...Janneke...Adi.
Janneke is from Holland and before starting her travels almost a year ago, she was a criminal psychologist. I am now quite concerned about being analysed but she says that "she is on vacation"! Phew...not that I am a criminal.
We have a really good evening talking about out travels, where we have been, where we are going. She says she is heading to Hue the following day...I am going in two days. We talk about our taste in music and movies and are surprised that we have similar tastes...almost freaking each other out by our choice of best movies.
I suggest that it wouldn't surprise me if we shared the same birthday...at which point we look at each other as if to say it isn't possible. Slowly we say the dates...I'm the 8th, she's the 29th...then we say the month, and we both look a litlle shocked to find out it is April for both is us. We knew we were the same age already so the year is the same too...turns out I am exactly 3 weeks older than her.
The evening of chat and drinks is a lot of fun, and as we are in the same hotel, we walk back and bid each other good night with the possibility that we might catch up in Hue if she hasn't moved on.
The following day, I wake early to check if it is possible to head out to the Marble Mountains but it is pouring down with rain. So I lie in, finish my book and head out for brunch. I then walk to, and visit, the orphanage...which is both a rewarding and a depressing experience, although seeing the smiles on some of the kids who interacted with me was heartening.
I arrive at the orphanage and peer into the entrance, but no one is around. So I slowly and sheepishly walk in... as I stand in the reception, a gentlemen comes out and sees me, and starts to nod, though he speaks little English. He takes me through to a courtyard where I see four or five young children playing. He shouts to one of them, who runs over, grabs my hand, while speaking to me in Vietnamese (or at least I assume it is) and leads me to a room in the far corner of the courtyard and points inside.
Inside, it's dimly lit but still there's enough daylight to see... there are 8 beds (2 rows of 4 beds) with on average 2 children on each bed. In one corner of the room is a simple black and white TV which some older kids are watching whilst sat on a wooden bench. I walk in and say hello to an American mother and daughter who are vacationing and have decided to spare some time to come to the orphanage. I give them an agreeing nod, that's my reason too.
Before I continue to describe my experience, I'm going to tell you that I made the consciou decision to not take photos... something about this place and the kids there made me not want to take photos... I think I can explain it by wanting to be a part of this story and not record / photograph this story. So I left the camera in the bag and approached the first bed.
The young child, a boy, possibly just under a year and a half, seems to be mentally handicapped and I can't tell whether he can see me despite looking as if he has healthy eyes. He just doesn't seem to react to visual stimuli.
Then I hold his hand. Before my eyes, his face changes. Before he looked like he was preoccupied with is own thoughts... it's maybe where he lives, in his own thoughts. But upon contact with my hand, The most amazing thing happened. He smiles... a really simple yet happy smile. If hearts could melt, mine just did. I smile too... I hold his hand and rub his tummy, almost tickling him and he curls up, giggling (with no sound) and just looks really happy. And I feel...happy... too.
If you would like to see a photo of him, click on the link - It's from the orphanage's website.
http://www.kianh.org.uk/gallery/beH
Moving on, I go to the next bed, but here I feel sad. Despite trying to repeat the experience of the previous bed, the little girl here gives no reaction to hand holding. On the next bed, a girl is sitting up, a little disorientated. I walk over to her and she grabbs my hand and won't let go... that is a little nerve wracking as you don't know how to react. Eventually, her grip lessens and I bid her goodbye and then walk over to the TV.
I speak to a pair of teenage brothers... one who actually works out in the town but comes back to the orphanage each night to sleep and be with is brother. It's a pity to think that both brothers have been in the orphanage for quite a few years. They are educated but the standards here are so low that you do feel sorry though with the donations from visitors they do get fed and have shelter. And for that, we can be thankful.
I donate a little money so that they can buy milk for the newborn (whom I get to hold). Within minutes, the carer has popped out, bought milk, come back and prepared it and is now feeding the baby I was just holding. The immediacy of it reminds me that they have little funds and are living day by day if not week by week. I am a litle saddened, and due to he nature of my trip... I am a backpacker... I know that I am unable to change that.
I leave the orphanage and make my way back towards the hotel... stopping in to Jenny's cafe on the way. I mention to her that I stopped into the orphanage and she tells me that one of the charity organisers (who's Scottish) is here and introduces me to Nick.
I congratulate Nick on the efforts that he and his partners have put in and he tells me about the orphanage and the projects and costs involved. I have to admit that he is inspiring, giving up his life to a degree to come out to Vietnam and help run the financial aspect of the orphanage. I mention that as a backpacker, I don't have the financial means to assist at this point in time but I do pledge that when I am settled into a job in the future, I will set up a standing order for a little amount of money each month. As I write this in March 2007, I haven't yet forgotten... in fact, I never will. Do remind me though...
I head back to the hotel... I spend the next morning packing and then after breakfast I stop into an internet cafe to check my email... I am leaving for Hue this afternoon and the bus journey will get me there in three or four hours. I note that I have received an email from Janneke, the friend I made two nights ago. She tells me that it had rained all day in Hue and so she had decided to stay another day or two in Hue. If I was coming, she wouldn't mind catching up again. She also recommends the hotel that is she is staying in. As searching for hotels was one of the reasons I logged on to the internet, I decide, "cool, one less decision to make". Plus, Friday night was fun so I reply to Janneke and say, sure, let's make it a repeat.
I catch my bus to Hue. The journey is fairly uneventful and when I arrive in Hue, the bus drops me off and I am set upon by touts who want me to stay in their hotel... my decision is already made for me and I head there...
- Hoi An, Vietnam
-
cheerful
